Name Your Shame

No, I’m not tallking about announcing it to the world, although that is a super empowering thing to do.

I’m talking about naming it to yourself.

What am I on about?

Well, imagine this scenario for a sec.

You know what you need to do, it’s right there on your to-do list, but you keep avoiding it.

This might go on for days, weeks, months even.

All of a suddden you find yourself cleaning the fridge or organising your drawers or falling down a Youtube hole.

At some point it might occur to you to  wonder why you’re just not doing the task.

You know this one don’t you…

We’ve all got something that we relate to like this.

Why do we do this?

One of the things that gets in the way of you taking action is when there is some shame or self-judgement getting in the way.

Some idea that you have about yourself that prevents you taking action.

Often this is completely unconscious.

It’s not in our awareness so we don’t even know it’s there.

It shows itself as procrastination or avoidance or forgettfulness but it’s not.

I was talking to a client about a month ago who was finding his sales conversations challenging.

He’s been in business for over a decade so he has great testimonials, referrals and long term clients.

He knows his stuff.

But he was finding it challenging to put himself out there, to make offers and to talk about money.

When we started to dig into what was going on under the surface he realised he had a belief that he had some shame around selling.

He had this idea that him offering his service in return for financlial payment was somhow lying or cheating.

Imagine walking into a sales conversation thinking you’re a liar and a cheat.

I wonder how that’s going to impact your conversation?!

Once we had uncovered this toxic thinking, we did the work to free him of it.

I received a message a couple of weeks later:

“it’s been a freaking eye opener and I’ve had a lot more sales conversations since then than I have for a long time”.

Name your shame.

Be honest with yourself.

Acknowledge it.

Only then can you free yourself from it.

And then you will see the results roll in, effortlessly.


For the men in or near the UK, here’s how you can name your shame with my support:

The Isle Of Man is filling for the next July retreat. We get together for 5 days and remove all distractions so we can do the deep work on ourselves. Check it out here.

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